‘Tis the season for joyous celebration, right?! Well, not for everyone. Many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle that make up the days spanning from Thanksgiving to New Year’s and forget that it is commonly a very difficult time for many people for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes it’s the change in weather and daylight that leads to a struggle with seasonal affective disorder, or changes in mood that seem to mirror the increased time we spend in darkness, especially in frigid Minnesota (picture: waking with the alarm when it’s still dark outside and getting home from work after the sun has gone down; it’s hard not to feel tired when the sun spends more time sleeping too!).
Other times it’s the month-or-so when we’re spending money, making plans, and often running around so much that we miss the opportunity to soak in the joy, spend time in praise, or appreciate the things we do have that are not of monetary value.
Most often, it’s that time of year that those of us who are estranged, away from, or grieving the loss of a family member struggle the most. Socially, the assumption is often made that we will each make plans to celebrate with our respective families, but what if you don’t have a family to celebrate with? What if you have lost loved ones and experience the intense grief that surfaces around anniversaries of special dates and the holidays? What if you have chosen to separate from unhealthy family dynamics only to find yourself feeling exceptionally alone during this time?
Whatever the reason, the month of December can at least serve to remind us all of how important self-care is to our emotional and physical wellbeing. When the struggle increases, we must be more vigilant to increase our efforts to find sources of joy. Focus on doing something small for yourself every day. If you spend your day caring for others, take a coffee (or tea?) break. Take an extra five minutes in the shower and turn the water a little hotter, or make time for a bubble bath. Step outside and breathe the fresh air; notice as it freezes the hairs on the inside of your nose or watch your breath crystallize as you exhale. Or maybe choose one thing that you like about yourself and make it your mantra for the day.
Self-care doesn’t have to cost money or even much time; taking five minutes to slow down can improve your outlook for the day and reduce your overall stress level. Perhaps you might consider practicing a few minutes of mindfulness – being in the present moment without judgment, tuning into what you are noticing with your five senses. Let this time be a reminder that we all struggle in different ways, and for many, the pain feels more intense around the holidays. Take time to remember you are important, too. Listen to those famous words, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”… and be kind to yourself, too!
Written by Lauren Robbins MS, LPC, LADC Licensed Professional Counselor at Healthwise Behavioral Health & Wellness